The Jihad Herald

Jihadii Horoscopes for the month of September, 1999

You will be wet a lot this month (what do you expect for a water sign?) and
this will make you grouchy. Try to realize that it isn't necessarily "their"
fault when you are perterbed.

Things may be wrong for you abroad this month. I suggest avoiding the state
of Denmark.

You will have many headaches this month from ramming your head against too
many rocks.

You will be clumsy this month. Avoid China Shops.

You will find it difficult to make descisions this month. You will too often
be of two minds.

Beware of a short temper this month. Also avoid sexual encounters without
protection, you are especially susceptable to crabs.

You will do well this month. Take the time to be well fed, lay on a hot
rock, and overlook the savanah.

A good month to avoid jumping into never before tried situations.
Also beware losing any cherries.

Maintian a balanced diet this month, and always try to be just.

Be careful as you scurry back and forth this month. Others may see more
venom in your reactions than you intend, and they may fear your sting.

Your hunt this month will not be in vain, but be sure your aim is true
before releasing your golden shaft.

Your appetites this month will seem insatiable, but beware overindulgence
and make sure nobody uses you as a disposal.

These Horoscopes are by Rev. Cyohtee
and are for entertainment purposes only.